{"id":1030,"date":"2009-12-01T22:28:22","date_gmt":"2009-12-01T22:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/?p=1030"},"modified":"2012-06-08T15:25:56","modified_gmt":"2012-06-08T14:25:56","slug":"book-titles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/book-titles\/","title":{"rendered":"Book Titles"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-1033\" title=\"bookcover\" src=\"http:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/bookcover.jpg\" alt=\"bookcover\" width=\"27\" height=\"36\" \/><\/h4>\n<h4>Here, in no particular order,\u00a0 are\u00a0 the titles of all the books that should be written:-<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>An Inadvertant Coffee<\/li>\n<li>The Cake Finisher<\/li>\n<li>The Cooker is Always Right<\/li>\n<li>Swearing Advisable!<\/li>\n<li>Swearing Optional (the sequel)<\/li>\n<li>Swearing Obligatory (the 2nd sequel)<\/li>\n<li>Respect for Walnuts<\/li>\n<li>Too Old to Juggle<\/li>\n<li>Mostly Imaginary Horses<\/li>\n<li>Appointment with a Morris Dancer<\/li>\n<li>Erring Towards Sanity<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t sit on madness<\/li>\n<li>This category does not apply<\/li>\n<li>The Ambitious Erection<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t Stand on the Jam<\/li>\n<li>A Bus Full of Lost Monks<\/li>\n<li>Unusually Normal<\/li>\n<li>Waiting for Cohesion<\/li>\n<li>Culprits to a degree<\/li>\n<li>Never sell a clock at twenty-past four<\/li>\n<li>Wires that you&#8217;ve always wanted<\/li>\n<li>Consistently One Out<\/li>\n<li>Agreeing too soon<\/li>\n<li>The size of Two Cushions<\/li>\n<li>A sheep for all seasons<\/li>\n<li>Three Balloons in a Basket<\/li>\n<li>The Art of Re-giggling<\/li>\n<li>The Inherited Cat<\/li>\n<li>Inappropriately Adequate<\/li>\n<li>Inappropriately Apt (the sequel)<\/li>\n<li>Creatively Immoral<\/li>\n<li>Sitting in the Trouser Press of Life<\/li>\n<li>Rain in the Right Order<\/li>\n<li>The Misplaced Chaffinch<\/li>\n<li>The Malfunctioning Eggcup<\/li>\n<li>Plunging with Pleasure<\/li>\n<li>To Find a Tree<\/li>\n<li>The Invisible Postman<\/li>\n<li>Ducks we Didn&#8217;t Feed<\/li>\n<li>Peas don&#8217;t work<\/li>\n<li>Snogging a Strawberry<\/li>\n<li>The Competitive Buddhist<\/li>\n<li>My Mutual Benefit<\/li>\n<li>Somewhere in a Van<\/li>\n<li>Books we&#8217;re never going to write<\/li>\n<li>More books we&#8217;re never going to write (the sequel)<\/li>\n<li>The Universe is Full of People<\/li>\n<li>You Can&#8217;t Do Anything Without a Verb<\/li>\n<li>Anything Doesn&#8217;t Fit<\/li>\n<li>Just Remember You&#8217;re a Badger<\/li>\n<li>A World Without Walnuts<\/li>\n<li>Jokes You Have to Explain<\/li>\n<li>Legless Flamenco<\/li>\n<li>The Legless Flamingo<\/li>\n<li>A Passion for Pudding<\/li>\n<li>Invisible People Without Appetite<\/li>\n<li>Chasing Imaginery Goldfish<\/li>\n<li>You Can&#8217;t Go Wrong with Nearly<\/li>\n<li>The Low-Visibility Dog<\/li>\n<li>Down the Road from Everywhere<\/li>\n<li>The Anarchist&#8217;s Rulebook<\/li>\n<li>The Book with no Title<\/li>\n<li>The Invisible Opposites<\/li>\n<li>Things that can happen to Frogs<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t have Patience Forever<\/li>\n<li>One-word Brilliance<\/li>\n<li>A Long Way to Go for a Sheep<\/li>\n<li>I Posted Some Postcards Tomorrow<\/li>\n<li>In a Muddle of Tenses<\/li>\n<li>The Opposite of Alliteration<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t let a Maggot put you off your Password<\/li>\n<li>Relatives with Dirty Fingernails<\/li>\n<li>Even Tall People Have Showers<\/li>\n<li>Preventitive Stupidity<\/li>\n<li>Planning Impromptu Events<\/li>\n<li>Delayed Spontaneity<\/li>\n<li>Shoe Anecdotes<\/li>\n<li>Utensil Intensive<\/li>\n<li>Honesty with Good Intentions<\/li>\n<li>From Doom to Destiny<\/li>\n<li>Incisive Buffoonary<\/li>\n<li>Slouching with Dignity<\/li>\n<li>Inter-country Injuries<\/li>\n<li>The Loveliest Feet in the Terrace<\/li>\n<li>Vaguely Ambidextrus<\/li>\n<li>Not Existing Forever<\/li>\n<li>Honesty Postponed<\/li>\n<li>Kiss me Where your Face Fits<\/li>\n<li>Petulance in a Pool<\/li>\n<li>Making Crumbs on Purpose<\/li>\n<li>Pianos Vary in Size<\/li>\n<li>Innappropriately Balanced<\/li>\n<li>When Now Becomes Then<\/li>\n<li>A noun you can&#8217;t buy<\/li>\n<li>Working Towards Wonderful<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes you Need to Mop Twice<\/li>\n<li>Ears that need Finding<\/li>\n<li>Forgetting about things that don&#8217;t exist<\/li>\n<li>Sentences that have never been said<\/li>\n<li>Echoes of Chuckling<\/li>\n<li>Neglecting My Basil<\/li>\n<li>Things that can&#8217;t be invented<\/li>\n<li>High-quality forgetfulness<\/li>\n<li>Interview with an ice-cream<\/li>\n<li>The scone pronouncers<\/li>\n<li>Pre-emptive repetition<\/li>\n<li>The Same Age, but Younger<\/li>\n<li>Autobiography of the unborn<\/li>\n<li>Pre-emptive autobiography<\/li>\n<li>The Strings of a Balaleika<\/li>\n<li>The Plight of the Plummeting Poet<\/li>\n<li>Legs are for Mortals<\/li>\n<li>Always is never true<\/li>\n<li>Afraid of Gravity<\/li>\n<li>Waiting for twitches<\/li>\n<li>The Self-conscious Twitcher<\/li>\n<li>The vaguesness of British plumbing<\/li>\n<li>Tongue &amp; chi<\/li>\n<li>Tai-cheek<\/li>\n<li>Waiting for Colour<\/li>\n<li>Cutting without Concept<\/li>\n<li>The problem with trying to forget things<\/li>\n<li>A jar full of glow-worms<\/li>\n<li>Ethically Disgusting<\/li>\n<li>Wiser on Boxing Day<\/li>\n<li>Twittering Doubts<\/li>\n<li>Distracted by Parsnips<\/li>\n<li>Life with a Libran<\/li>\n<li>Life with a Librarian (the sequel)<\/li>\n<li>Ceasing to be unprovable<\/li>\n<li>Only Gods get things straight.<\/li>\n<li>Rules for Spontaneous Games<\/li>\n<li>Clever use of tissues<\/li>\n<li>Knowledgable Stupidity<\/li>\n<li>100,000 ways to be specific<\/li>\n<li>The cul-de-sac of Christ<\/li>\n<li>Obviously Inexplicable.\u00a0 (or Clearly Mysterious)<\/li>\n<li>The Audacity of the Blind Penguin<\/li>\n<li>Trousers I have Cherished<\/li>\n<li>Tricking a one-legged Canary<\/li>\n<li>Neither rules nor exceptions<\/li>\n<li>Being nonchalent about gravity<\/li>\n<li>Diversionary tactics for moths<\/li>\n<li>Do not depend wholly on your height<\/li>\n<li>Insulting the Weather<\/li>\n<li>Things as important as toes<\/li>\n<li>If we ever lose the sugar<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Phew!\u00a0 Now we&#8217;ve got to get round to designing the book covers<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Suggestions of book titles for books that need to be written.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ilka","category-richard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1030"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1030\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1481,"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1030\/revisions\/1481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splunge.co.uk\/richnilk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}