When I do cook (which is rare), I do like to try to make curry. I’ve never really followed a recipe, but over the years I’ve perfected a way of making a curry that I like. I think it’s got authentic Indian elements to it, but basically it’s a huge veggie-slop of a casserole, with plenty of herbs and spices to make it taste just right for me. Whenever I share my veggie curry, people say that it’s the best curry they’ve ever had, and ask how I make it. I’ve never told the truth about my curry-making exploits until now. So here is a step-by-step guide as to how I make the most delicious veggie curry the world has ever known.
Richard’s sometimes Curry Recipe
- Put some music on. Maybe something chill.
- Get out all the ingredients you think you might like in a curry, just to see what quantities of each are needed. For me the essentials are potatoes, onions, peppers, red lentils, courgettes, garlic, a couple of tomatoes, a tin of tomatoes (e.g. peeled or plum), a tin of beans (e.g. kidney, black bean, or other), and chickpeas if you want. Also needed are chillies (preferably fresh, but also powder & flakes), a leek, and another big ingredient like a sweet potato, cauliflower, or a squash like a butternut or a pumpkin. Maybe a carrot as well.
- Sometimes also needed are fresh mushrooms, nuts (e.g. cashews, pine kernels, or walnuts), and something green like spinach, or cabbage. You can also add an aubergine, but that’s usually an alternative to courgettes.
- Pour a glass of wine, or open a beer. Realise you’ve got too many ingredients, so decide to make a huge amount that will last for several days.
- Peel the potatoes. Cut them into small bits ready for boiling. If using a carrot, peel that too and put it whole in with the potatoes (it can be sliced later).
- Peel the sweet potato and/or squash, and dice into nice little segments. A sweet potato can be boiled with the potatoes (they get on well together with minimal arguing), but I prefer to fry a butternut squash. With the boiling veg, make sure not to boil them too soft. I always use a pressure cooker because it uses less energy and it frightens the life out of me when the pressure gets too high.
- Change the music to something a bit more Alt-Rock, or Indie. Assess the drink situation.
- Garlic & onions. The more the merrier. I usually use two big red onions, alongside a white one. A whole garlic is the minimum. Sometimes I cheat and use a garlic press, but I prefer to chop the garlic into tiny slices ready for the frying pan.
- You will need a large frying pan!
- A leek can be washed and sliced ready for frying as well, but I tend to fry it later on.
- I prefer to fry everything in Ghee Butter. This is what they do in restaurants so it must be authentic. If you haven’t got any Ghee, then you can use butter or Marge, or olive oil, or any combination of these. Mushrooms always like to be fried in butter I think, but they are going to be added last to the pan so you don’t need to worry.
- What you do need to worry about is if you’ve got enough wine. Open a bottle and let it breathe.
- Breathe.
- Then finish your beer and pour a generous sample of wine.
- The most important thing for now is what you put in the frying pan. The onions should be sizzling nicely, but you’ve got to next add the leek, and squash (if used) to the mix. If using cauliflower that can also go in now (obvs not whole). I like to sprinkle cauliflower with a good dose of paprika at this point. And then add half the garlic. Stir, and cover the frying pan.
- Chop the chilli-peppers. Eat one end raw to assess how hot they are.
- Put out any fires in your mouth with the wine and/or beer (or even water if desperate). Decide that probably 2 chillies are enough, so add them to the mix.
- It’s time for a re-think about the music. Perhaps put on BBC 6 music, or (my preference) French FIP radio.
- If, for any reason the frying pan mix is looking too dry, add a splash of liquid (maybe a Lidl wine).
- Add the remainder of the chopped garlic.
- The peppers are next. These add essential colour, so pick carefully, because you wouldn’t want anything to clash in the pan.
- When the peppers are added it’s time for some spice. If you’re unsure what to add then you can use a ready-mix curry paste. I never do this anymore because of my years of experience. The essential spices are of course Cumin powder, Coriander power, Chilli flakes, and Tumeric. Later we will add fresh coriander and cumin seeds, but for now lavishly apply the powder to the pan mix and give it all a good stir.
- After a quick slurp of wine, rescue the boiled vegetables from the pressure cooker and castigate yourself for allowing them to be boiled too soft. Empty the pressure cooker, because everything’s going to end up in it.
- The lentils will need cooking. A small saucepan should do for this. I always like to use every single pot and pan and utensil when I’m doing the cooking. I find this thereputic, particulary because I rarely have to wash-up if I cook. Also, lentils have a habit of boiling over when you are least expecting it, and the mess they make on the hob can always be cleaned-up later by someone offering to do the dishes for you because you’ve done the cooking.
- I use split red lentils because they cook quickly. I couldn’t tell you how much I use, but they will disappear into the curry mix later so you can’t have enough of them. If you want to use other lentils (e.g. black,brown or green), then I salute you. However, you should have thought about this yesterday and faffed around with all the soaking and other nonsense beforehand.
- Don’t forget to slurp! While slurping and taking in the odours, let you mind wander to the music, and try googling an irrelevent music fact about the band you are listening to. If listening to a local radio station, make a mental note to write a letter of complaint to the council about a topical issue.
- Things are now going to start coming together.
- You will need to chop the fresh tomatoes. Put these in the pot, where hopefully there might be a splash of hot water left over from the potato cooking. Use a high heat and when the tomatoes have started sizzling, add the tin plum tomatoes, the tin of kidney beans and optional tin of chick-peas/broad beans or whatever else was at the back of the cupboard that was still not quite past its Best Before date.
- While that lot’s warming-up, it’s back to the pan for a stir and your first taste test. It’s probably too … .. something. It always is. This is where your cooking skills come in.
- Add salt.
- At this stage I usually like to add another sprinkling of chillies, Cumin powder, Cumin seeds, Coriander, and Turmeric. The Turmeric is particulary satisfying because of the glorious colour, and (unlike the other spices) you can be quite generous with it without spoiling the whole dish. Some chefs here would add another authentic Indian spice, and indeed I do, but I forget what it’s called. Let’s call it the ‘Secret ingredient’.
- Add nuts to the pot.
- Add spinach to the pan. Note, cabbage should have gone in earlier so put this back in the fridge and pretend someone else must have chopped it up by mistake. Mushrooms should also have already been added, but they can be eaten raw so it doesn’t really matter if you add them now.
- After another quick slurp, put on your favourite playlist that others in the house will be forced to appreciate (because YOU are the chef).
- Now, carefully tip the contents of the frying pan into the pot. Give it all a nice stir whilst pretending to be a witch out of Macbeth. Cover the pot and leave it on a low heat.
- You now have time to think about what you’re going to eat with the curry. Rice is an obvious choice, so you’d better get cracking on that. For a Day 1. curry though I prefer to just warm up a couple of nan-breads from the supermarket.
- When the wine/beer is empty, call everyone to table and ask them what they want to drink with their meal.
- When serving add a sprinke of fresh coriander, and have some plain yogurt to hand.
admin